It really is a little obvious
maybe: people with healthy relationships have more resilience. It still is
quite interesting though how having positive relationships and social
competences has a direct and positive influence on your health. Here some of
the impacts that being friendly to the people around you has (according to the
researches of Dr. David Hamilton and Dr. Helmut Kolitzus).
1. It reduces the harmful
substances in your blood (so, it actually works a little like
heart-medications).
2. You have less of a chance to
catch a cold.
3. Being nice to others enhances
the emissions of serotonin and dopamine, so that you are less affected by
depression and feel generally happier and more positive towards life.
4. The life-expectancy of
socially capable people is about 7 years higher.
5. You sleep better.
6. You have more energy and a
clearer picture of your self-esteem.
Naturally this is by far not a
limited list. It just shows how being friendly is (even solely for
health-benefits) absolutely worth it!
That said, the core of the word
friendly is friend (big surprise). But really, it is something every human
being very much needs: friendship, friends, being understood and accepted. One
of the reasons that my own resilience factor is as high as it is, is because I
have and cherish great friendships, some already for over 40 years.
Here another short list of some
of the results in regard to this resilience factor, again showing us the
importance of developing it further and maintaining it:
- People with a strong developed
resilience have learned to deal with themselves and with others in a positive
manner. This also enables them to develop and maintain multiple healthy
relationships. Relationships on which they can fall back in times of crisis.
- Resilient people are empathic
and have developed the competence of judging the behavior of others correctly,
and to understand their emotional and psychological situation.
- They are well able to ‘read’
non-verbal communication.
- They tend to life in accordance
with their feelings.
- Working together with resilient
people is great.
What to do if you are less of a relationship-hero?
Or if you have only few positive relationships at the moment. First, practice
makes perfect (yes, it is applicable here as well). A healthy relation is
developed step by step (and it often takes a while). For instance, start with
creating ‘good acquaintances’. Someone with whom you do stuff, or with whom you share
interests. This can be someone from work, or someone you know via sport, or via
a hobby. By the way, don’t forget that within your family there often are many
‘someones’ that could fit the picture perfectly as well.
Being social actually starts with
kindness and being prepared to support someone. Practice that. Develop ‘good
acquaintances’ and work towards and maintain good friendships.
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