Building resilience: and being amazed!

After an intensive trainingsday in Paris, together with 8 beautiful people, covering the theme: ‘how to build a positive team’, I am now sitting by myself in ‘Café de France’, on the ‘Place d' Italie’. Just before coming here I’ve changed into my relax-pants and a cozy sweater, and went looking for an inspiring nice typical French Café. And, obviously, I didn’t have to look far.

And already I am enjoying a glass of Saint Émelion, and I can take some time to write a little. I love it! Writing is one of the most ultimate ways for me to relax and be creative. And, in the middle of the autumn, which is the most busy and stressful time for me in the year, a little resilience is becoming quite handy…

The resilience-factor Nr. 2 is optimism and basic-trust. People that have an optimistic view of life, regenerate much faster after major efforts or high-stress-phases. Optimism is in this sense often a consequence of a positive attitude: ‘things will work out fine, after rain comes sunshine, etc.’! Optimism is also a consequence of positive amazement. Being amazed is an attitude through which one be positively surprised by (re)discovering the little things in life. Children are much better at this then us! It often seems we have unlearned it by growing up.

Building resilience: going for gold!

The first resilience-factor that contributes to a lifestyle of resilience is: a reconciled past and an emotional stability. A dear friend of mine, Guenter Refle, a philosopher and consultant has described it as follows: ‘he who isn’t aware of his own history, who doesn’t accepts and embraces it, cannot really enjoy his present, and can hardly plan his future in a meaningful way. Who gets stuck in his past, because of unresolved negative experiences has not enough energy to build a healthy lifestyle of resilience and emotional stability.

Naturally, I am not saying that it has to be the goal to ‘solve’ everything of our past, or that we are able to reconcile it all to gather and would be able to leave it behind us. We are all human beings and are faced with our personal boundaries within this thematic.