An interesting
way to tap into your social sources is to withdraw, and to experience silence.
It almost seems to be contradictive, social contact, is that not by definition
talking with each other? Well, yes, it is quite difficult when one develops
some sort of hermit-mentality, and completely withdraws oneself from human
contact. But searching for some silence is far from asocial behaviour. It is in
the first place the art of truly listening, with your heart, head and body.
The
Benedictines already live for about 1500 years with the following 3 life’s
guidelines:
Obedientia: truly listening, with heart, head and
body;
Conversum Morum: daily practising the good;
Stabilitas: the commitment towards
the relationship with yourself, the others, your work and God.
The first
guideline, obedientia, the arte of listening, starts like this:
- Stop
- Get out
- Silence
- Listening
Stop: to be
able to really listen, and so, to tap into your social sources, you first have
to learn the art of stopping. Don’t just stop with working because you’ve
finished everything. Stop at a time, which you’ve set beforehand. If you don’t,
the chances are rather present that you will keep on working, that you will be
‘distracted’ with working 24-7. You could actually really set an alarm for yourself,
to remind you to stop working for a minute. After it goes of, you should then
take 5 or 10 minutes to conclude some matters, to shut your workplace down.
Get out: leave your workplace. To find some peace and
quiet, you have to change your surroundings. It can be your favourite chair, a
silent place in the house, a little garden shed, a bench in the garden, or one
of your favourite places in nature. I, for instance, find it really great to
stroll through my neighbourhood, to walk to some of the little bridges, and to
gaze over the water.
Silence: to be
able to really listen, it is an art to silence your head. One of the aims of
withdrawing oneself, of experiencing silence, is to anew contact with yourself,
and to gain a new quality of peace and quiet. ‘The man who is always in a
hurry, hates himself’ (Anselm Gruen). Who isn’t able to unwind and relax, can’t
be healthy, and can’t develop resilience.
Listening:
after stopping, getting out, and finding silence, comes the art of truly
listening. A nice way to practise this is by going for a stroll. Chose a
beautiful little route (which will take you for about 30 minutes), somewhere
where there aren’t to many other people. Give yourself a special exercise:
like, I am going to try to listen to everything really carefully. Or, I am
going to really watch all around me, to find all the little beautiful details.
Such an exercise really helps you to concentrate. To keep your head from
drifting off into the 1001 thoughts that are spinning around in your mind. They
will probably come anyway, but when they come it will be easier to let them go
again. By concentrating on one specific sense, you are much better able to
obtain some rest, to order your thoughts, to experience deeper truths.
For this great
Christmas time, a special invitation: discover the power and the peace and
quiet of silence!
Paul Donders
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